Sometimes emotions overwhelm us. They seem to come out of nowhere. When they get a grip on us, we just want to escape. Too often, it does not seem possible.
There are ways, though, of regaining our balance. First of all, if you feel overwhelmed by an emotion, reach out. If you need to, call or text one of the numbers on this page. Talking to someone who cares can make a huge difference.
There are things you can do on your own, too. Too often, we let such feelings stay unnamed. Unnamed feelings weigh us down. Many people find it helpful to call our hard emotions by name. Naming what you are feeling lets us begin to deal with our emotions.
What are you feeling? Are you sad? Angry? Disappointed? Embarrassed? Do you feel worthless, rejected, forgotten? Name the feeling, so you can face it directly. Emotions are not bad. Everyone feels them. Naming them makes them less threatening.
When you see what triggered the feeling, ask what you can do about it. Sometimes we can change the situation. Sometimes we cannot. That is okay, too. Again, be aware of what you can and cannot do. We all have limits.
Ask yourself what you can do to feel more peace right now. We can take a walk. We can listen to music. We can talk to a friend. If possible, we can offer forgiveness or an apology, whether or not those things are accepted. Doing nothing often leaves us feeling more helpless.
Then, consider what good life lessons may come from this. We cannot change the past. But we can change the way we live in the present. Maybe this issue makes us pay more attention to being a good friend. Maybe it helps us appreciate good things we still have in life. Do not get stuck in the bad feeling! Let it teach you to be better.
When you click the "Begin" button above, this page guides you through seven questions to help you "defuse" your emotion. You first see the emotion. Then you open it up and look behind it. Then you can take the things out of it that need to come out.
Defuse the emotion! Make the feelings and memories inside visible. Let them see the light of day. Remember that you have the feelings. They do not have you.
Know also that someone, somewhere, loves you, and wants you to feel better!