Why I Turned Out So Bad . . .
Murphy O'Cat Saves Grandma's Funeral
Brill Cream, A Little Dab'll
Snappy the Alligator
The Church Sign Page
| Why I Turned Out So Bad . . .
We can’t help being shaped by our surroundings, especially
when we’re kids. I grew up with one of the most unkempt,
bad-mannered individuals I’ve ever met. He absolutely
hated baths. He thought nothing of relieving himself in front
of the whole world. He ate directly off the floor if he had to
and begged shamelessly from anyone who had something
His sexual appetites were enormous. He would stroke his
own privates lying on the floor in front of everybody. He
had a tongue fetish and would lick the bodies of perfect
strangers. He insisted on singing along with anybody in the
house who tried to make music, despite the fact that he
couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket.
He also had very little self-control and would run around the
house making noise at the top of his lungs whenever one of
his favorites came home. He had a bad temper. He would
bite and scratch at others if they did something he didn’t
With such terrible examples, it is no wonder I turned out the
way I did.
He was, of course, our dog.
©2006, John G. Cunyus
All Rights Reserved
John Cunyus is freelance writer working in North Texas. His work may be viewed
online at www.johncunyus.com